Halfway through the 2nd half = 75%

The light at the end of the chemo tunnel gets slightly brighter every day. Deb's treatment on Thursday, the 22nd, will essentially be her 6th dose of the Taxol (and Herceptin). 6 more weeks of treatment after that. Then, a 1 month break to let her body recover before radiation therapy will begin. So we're starting to match these planned events with calendar dates and that's really a positive and exciting thing.

The weekly treatments have been taking a toll, but Deb is persisting as she only knows how to; like a champ. She's still more efficient and mindful all chem'ed out than I am just being me (no comments, peanut gallery - you know who you are...). Seriously, in the past 24 hours she's not only gone grocery shopping but also taken Ryan to music class, the mall, and whooped up some serious meat loaf. But, the thing is, I can see her "muscling through" a lot of activities...it's such an incredibly difficult thing to watch someone you love be in pain and not be able to do anything about it...The point is, Deb's feeling crummy (that's the polite way to say it). BUT, while feeling crummy, she's totally managing. The new "normal" continues...

Honestly, one of, if not the most difficult decisions of our life (and we've had some difficult ones) was to find a new home for Jojo. It was becoming increasingly obvious that we weren't able to give Jojo the positive attention and training she deserves. I still can't really believe all that's transpired in the past few days. The bottom line though is Jojo went to live with a family with another little whipper-snapper dog (Benny the mini Aussie Shepherd) and a couple kids (4 & 7). These folks will be able to give Jojo the exercise and love and attention that we're unable to provide for her right now. Watching Benny and Jojo running in circles and playing I could tell that they'll be happy together. I think Jojo will be a happier (and better behaving) dog being able to play with another dog of her size and excitement level every day and to not be in a house that's unfortunately more stressful than we'd like most of the time.

But we're not all gray clouds and slush puddles...in fact, the weather here's been incredible (duh, right? who doesn't expect to go to the beach in January?) and that's helping us to stay on the bright side of the street (of course it's raining tonight, but we can actually use it). Ryan's vocabulary is exploding and she continues to display great resilience despite all of the changes going on around her. Frequently asking "what's this?" and replying with "Ohhh..." - it's pretty cool watching her soak in the world around her. She does know Jojo went to live with another family, and I think she's sad, but also glad that her toys won't be getting chewed by anyone besides herself. Ryan and "Nini" have formed an incredibly special bond (held together with chocolate milk and Barney/Caillou/whatever). But seriously, there are times when it's Nini or nothing and I know I speak for Deb when I say just how grateful we are for Deb's mom for so many reasons. What else? Ryan's got Music Together class happening and is in gymnastics...both of which are proven good times. We've been talking about getting back in the pool and doing some swimming lessons. Oh yeah, she's started making pizzas now too; with some help from mama...but that's fun to watch her and Deb in aprons rolling out the dough and putting on the sauce; it's like a restaurant where you make your own pizza - only it's not a restaurant, it's your house. Pizza with corn & chicken!?! What a country.

The house is eerily quiet now. It's kind of nice, but mostly it's just odd and weird (cause there's a big difference between the two). I'm sure what we've done is the right thing, but once again the right thing is certainly not the easy thing (what's up with that?). The Dumbledore "dark and difficult times" quote keeps coming to mind. But so do others like "where there is love, there is hope". The love and hope we have will get us through these dark and difficult times, of that I am sure.