Really?

It's a Thursday night and all is relatively calm here on Pacheco Ave...

Deb is up putting Ryan to sleep and I'm on the couch with laptop on lap goofing off with my latest obsession - facebook...what a distraction that site is. That I was just sitting here joining the Winkelman Elementary School group made me realize something...I have some "free" time. What's that?

This past week has been rough, and continues to be a challenging time. But, frankly, we've been challenged a great deal lately, so that helps us with perspective. My wife, my love, my Deb is beginning to show long since seen signs of her past, pre-cancerous self. By that, what I mean, is just being able to laugh or relax a bit; if only a little.

Here's the deal; today being Thursday, for the past 12 weeks, every Thursday, Deb's gotten infused with the Taxol that makes her feel so crummy. Each week, and less so as the weeks progressed, she would almost regain her "self", just in time to go and get resaturated. That today is Thursday and she didn't get an infusion allows us- allows her -to begin to seriously recuperate. Her progress can be measured in wit, which I'm so glad to see returning. It's been really hard for Deb, and for me to watch, to not be able to find the words a lot of the time lately. Make no mistake, the chemo treatments are IN-TENSE. People will say something like, "I can't even imagine what it's like" and all I can think is, first "don't" and second, "I can't even explain"...it's survival mode - you do what you need to because it's all you can do. But still, I find myself saying the same types of things to friends in similar situations - and YES, it's unfortunate that not only is our family going through this, but our good friends Sarah, Dan and Marek are having to realize the the raw and relentless therapy that is chemo.

That's not to say that today was without reality in the form of a doctor visit...Today, Deb got a CT scan to map out the locations for her forthcoming radiation therapy. While both of us understand the road goes on forever, we're so extremely grateful to be beyond the chemo portion of the program.

Ok, I think that might be just about enough rambling from these fingers tonight. Once again, I want to thank you all and let you know how much we appreciate your concern, support and love. That's what it's all about (but don't tell Ryan, she's convinced the hokey pokey is what it's all about).

and for the record...this may very well be the most rambling and tangential post to date...but, if you can decipher through my Thursday night, panic-watching messaging, you'll find there are some quality tidbits of news and substance.